Money problems are one of the most common sources of stress, and one of the most common ways of responding to financial stress is avoidance – not opening letters, not checking balances, not making important calls or decisions to tackle your problems.

Financial stress can be overwhelming, and retreating from this stress is an understandable and human response, but it’s not a wise one.

Money problems don’t go away on their own, and avoidance can lead to more debt, more stress, and more anxiety.

Avoidance isn’t always obvious, and sometimes shows up in subtle forms.

For example, many people ruminate about money constantly, replaying worries and imagining worst-case scenarios, while still avoiding the practical steps that might bring clarity or relief. Rumination and worrying can feel productive, but if it’s not backed up by action, then it’s really just another form of avoidance.

Worrying can feel responsible, but worry without action only saps energy without moving things forward in any way.

Of course, financial avoidance also shows up in other, more obvious ways.

Someone might repeatedly delay checking their bank balance, even while frequently worrying about it.

You might leave bills unopened, or put off the option of setting up online banking, or push tax paperwork further down your to-do list.

You might keep putting off financial decisions because they feel emotionally loaded, allowing procrastination to creep in around even simple choices.

Avoidance can be persistent because it brings short-term relief.

However, that relief is invariably temporary. The underlying problem remains and uncertainty grows, with anxiety tending to return stronger than before.

Over time, avoidance becomes a habit, reinforcing the belief that money is something to fear rather than something that can be faced.

CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) emphasises the importance of focusing on the behaviours – in this case, avoidance – that maintain anxiety.

One especially useful CBT tool is graded exposure, where you approach feared tasks gradually, in small, manageable steps.

Graded exposure is often explained using fear hierarchies, sometimes called fear ladders.

For example, exposure for a socially anxious person might involve starting with brief eye contact or a short question to a shop assistant, progressing gradually to asking questions at work meetings, or attending various social events, or joining a small social group on your own, and so on.

Each step is initially uncomfortable but tolerable.

Over time, anxiety tends to reduce because exposure retrains the brain, with the person learning through experience that they can cope.


Fear ladder

Money avoidance works in the same way, and can be tackled in the same way.

At the lower end of a financial fear ladder might be actions that feel mildly uncomfortable; at the top are those loaded with uncertainty, shame, or a sense of threat.

When everything is avoided at once, anxiety remains high and unfocused.

When tasks are broken down and approached gradually, fear becomes more specific and more manageable.

A money-related fear ladder might begin with opening a banking app without taking any action, or checking a balance before closing it again.

The next step could involve collecting various bills, or logging into an account to scan recent transactions.

Further up the ladder might be contacting a local MABS (Money Advice and Budgeting Service), calculating rough monthly outgoings, setting up a direct debit, or replying to an email from a creditor.

Higher still could be making an important phone call, negotiating repayments, or filing overdue tax paperwork.

Crucially, exposure is not about fixing everything at once.

It is about staying with discomfort long enough for it to rise and fall on its own.

Avoidance teaches the brain that money is dangerous and must be escaped.

Exposure teaches the opposite: that anxiety, while unpleasant, is both tolerable and temporary.

Over time, facing money problems in small, deliberate steps does more than reduce anxiety.

It creates the conditions for healthier habits to form. One of the clearest examples is saving.

Research consistently shows that people who save regularly tend to feel more optimistic, more satisfied with life, and less anxious about money, even when income is taken into account.

The psychological benefit appears to come less from the size of the savings pot and more from the act of saving itself.

From a CBT perspective, this makes sense.

Regular saving is a form of repeated exposure, ensuring you engage with money in a predictable, non-threatening way.

It shifts money from a source of dread to something approached with calm, practical attention and a view to the future.

As with any fear, money worries lose their power when faced directly; facing your fears is always more effective than avoiding them.

Linda Hamilton is a Kinsale-based cognitive behavioural therapist.

If you would like to get in touch with her, call 086 3300807.